So in the last 2 months since I posted I guess some stuff has changed. I was still struggling through depression and trying to regain at least a friendship with Maria. We talk every once in awhile....but rarely. Though since it's a new year I've been able to accept things and focus more on happiness. I've already asked 2 different girls on a date. The first one turned me down and the second one I'm actually still waiting on whether or not we'll be going on a date. So *fingers crossed* it all works out. In terms of emotions, I've been doing much better. Of course I'll always love Maria and wished we had worked out/will end up together, but I can't let that void of her being gone take over my life anymore. She's happy and I have to accept that because I love her. Maybe time will repair itself and bring us back together, but I'm not holding my breath waiting for that to happen. I've been focusing a lot more of my time on happiness. Since November 14, I had started a film project, I've got an idea on what I'm doing for my career, and I'm currently saving for a Canon EOS T3I DSLR camera to start my skateboarding documentary. I actually talked to Maria tonight and we talked a little about what's going on in our lives. She's doing really good and I just had to seem happy for her. I am to an extent. I'm glad she's being treated good but I know I could treat her better. The fact that I love her still gives me that strength to just look past my own problems and accept that she's happy and be happy for her. And I've been considerably happier lately. I'm not so much as sad anymore as I am just numb. I do miss her, I do wish for us to find our way back to eachother, but I'm not waiting anymore. I'm trying to move forward as life sees fit. Anyways, that's the happenings of my life lately.
The reason I haven't posted here is because of that lack of motivation to her being gone. I really only started this blog awhile back for those LDR updates, but now it's obviously not something I can post about anymore and can't find the motivation to post other things when I still know the reason I began posting here in the first place.... so in my final words, thanks to all of those who have read my blog and silently supported me over the past year. I'm thankful to have had readers. It's time I say goodbye to this blog. I won't be posting here anymore (I don't think, unless I get the motivation to start it up again) but I'll keep it up because I may want to look back on it from time to time to relive the times that were the happiest. I wish you all a happy new year. May 2014 bring a happy beginning and be a great year. Maria, I love you.... to the end of my days.
Hope towards happiness.
Goodbye for now.
