Dedication ISN'T obsession.

There is a finely drawn line between dedication and obsession. Yes, I still send her a good morning text every morning. Yes, I still tell her each day that she is beautiful and that I love her. Yes, I haven't been able to heal even as time progresses. Yes, the pain is nearly unbearable. Yes, I still confess to her how much she means to me and how to dear to my heart she is. Yes, I still keep hope that there will be a second chance.... a whole new beginning......a beautiful and permanent redemption at "us". Yes, I still cry very often over her. Yes, I pray to a god I don't even believe in. Yes, there is a possibility there will never be a second chance. But guess what, it's not a foreign idea to be strong willed and dedicated to something... or rather someone. To some, I may seem obsessive..... but is it really so difficult of an idea to understand that I met the true love of my life? I mean, if you look at all the facts.... I spent over a year with her after having gone to know her for 4 months prior to out relationship. We had to face the distance, family disapproval, lonliness, having to keep our relationship secret from said disapproving family for months at a time..... having to talk ONLY on facebook for an HOUR a day for 4 months, facing doubts and insecurities, etc. I've withstood ALL of that, which would normally be a grounds for someone giving up, but I hadn't and why? Because, I found someone who makes each heartbeat worth staying alive through. A lot of things have gone wrong in my life and it's nice to have something set in stone. It's nice to know that I WILL always and forever love her no matter how much it hurts. The fact is, life is about making the best of it.... and in order to do so, you have to fight for the things you want.... nobody says it's easy and most people just take the easy route and settle for the things that are more promising for them. But to be honest, I'd rather look back on my life knowing I dedicated everything I had to what I want most, rather than to have wasted the time "settling" for things that were less than I wanted. This is a fight I have to keep fighting and whether or not it ends with a happily ever after or a dark voided nothingness.... it's worth every second. At least I can look at this and see that I learned a lot about myself and the lengths I'm willing to go for someone who means so much. And at least she knows that she means everything to me. Otherwise, why WOULD I do the things I do? The biggest fact of all of this.... to put it very simply is that...... well...... I love her, still to this day as I always have and not a single shred of those feelings have faded even being as hard as things have gotten. 

Thanks to whoever had read this and supports me. I didn't intend on it being so long, or it really being more than a couple lines... but I got to venting and because I feel so passionately about this, my words just tend to flow out like pen to parchment.