I've never really talked about this on my LDR posts, but it is a pretty big part of my relationship. There's a lot of things about who I was and mistakes I had made that I regret because being with Maria has made me into a better person. That's a really special fact if you think about it. When you finally meet someone who is worth everything to you, you find yourself adapting to them. It's not even a forceful change either, it just happens because your heart wants you to be everything you can be for that person because you love them and don't want to give them a reason to leave. Now, some may argue that they'd never change for someone because they are their own person no matter what and that's fine. But it's different when you want to voluntarily change. Maria has never actually asked me to change anything about myself, but I know the things that would or will make her upset, so I change myself around those things because I always want to remain right for her. It's not a loss of identity at all. It's still simply YOU wanting to be the right person, so you essentially "upgrade" yourself to be that person.
Before Maria, I had done sexual things with past girlfriends. I'm not proud of any of it, but it took being with Maria to realize that. She's very pure and I admire the heck out of that, in fact, that's one of the bigger reasons I fell in love with her. Getting to share those intimate moments with her will be much more special because it will be her first time with any of it. Unfortunately, I can't take back my past..... BUT it's all completely meaningless to me now. Sharing those moments with Maria will be like a first time all over again. One thing about myself that I am proud of however, is the fact I'm still a virgin. I have been saving myself for the right girl, someone who I dearly love and won't feel I made a mistake about my first time. I have been made fun of for being 18 and still a virgin, but I don't care because I know it will be special and meaningful to me.
The reason for this post is because recently, her brother hasn't been all supportive of our relationship. He gave her reasons why I'm bad for her. And why wouldn't he? I've made a lot of mistakes, but the part he doesn't see is that I'm always adapting, always learning from every mistake so that I CAN be the best I can be for Maria. I'm devoted to her, I love her more than anything else in the world, and I'm always trying to be a good boyfriend for her. I may not always have done a great job at it, but I'm constantly changing. I think when a person is that committed to being right for the one they love, it should show their worth as a person. I'm definitely not a perfect person and there's no way I ever will be, but I strive to be a perfect person for Maria. There's a fine line between being perfect and being perfect for someone. When you're perfect for someone, they love everything about you and never see faults, that's a personal feeling. But being a perfect person, means being perfect compared to EVERYONE'S view. That's just impossible. So I feel that striving to be perfect for Maria, is a goal that can be achieved. I'm always trying. While it may take her family time to realize that, eventually.... I hope they see me as the person I so desperately try to be for her. She loves me for who I am for the most part. It's amazing, but it doesn't hurt to always try to be better.
So when you find that person you'd give everything for, don't be afraid to change at your own will. If you seriously love that person, adapting to their desires is a positive step towards a happy relationship. Don't be afraid to strive towards being a perfect person for them because the love you receive from it is simply one of the most amazing feelings in the world.
So to close this post, Maria... if you're reading this, I love you baby. I may not always be the best for you, but I'm constantly striving to be better and even if your family doesn't realize that now, I promise to eventually prove that to them. Just know that you are already perfect for me. :)
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